The truth is as naked as I feel

I’m a little boat
floating at sea
My head, the wheel, I released.
My intuition is my compass

It storms!
The boats around me seesaw violently
back and forth
Up and down
people panic
They scream, full of fear. Full of anger.
“Stop the storm! No, not this way! ”
“I SAID: NOT THIS WAY!”
(Especially since last wednesday – Trumpday)
Their heads stubbornly pointing the other side

Sometimes I steer with my hands,
sometimes with my stomach.
and sometimes with my genitals.
But mostly
with my heart.
It’s a beautiful journey
No, I feel no fear
No anger nor helplessness.

As long as my head doesn’t take over the wheel.

So…
Right now, I’m in the middle of my own turbulent water. It is a time of transition. Releasing restrictions. Too tight jackets.
Everything is changing.

Is it the moment?
Am I digesting the chaos and madness of the world right now?
Can I, as an artist, do anything else?

All my judgments, my values .. I am reassessing them.
My habits. My patterns. Addictions.
I’m in the middle of it all.

It is scary.
It’s uncertain.
It is scanning everything carefully.

But most of all:

It’s trust.

My intuition is my compass.

To others it seems chaos, I can believe that:

I throw overboard my moral and ethical concerns, am eating meat again after 15 years of being a vegetarian, go hitchhiking across the country (if possible), paint like i am possessed, live preferably without rhythm and in the meantime experience a personal revolution in many ways.

All this to have a closer look to which of my truths remain.
What fits me. Right here. Right now.

This all is reflected in my painting process – of course.

As I am breaking down my self-raised walls, at the same time new work arises.

Two two-meter-high paintings stand in the living room – my silent planet. Both are almost finished, but there is more to come, which is still in my head… my gut… my body.

They are different. Completely different.*
It feels like the changing of seasons, the phase between two periods.
A magical door.

The gate between two phases.
Sometimes exciting and scary,
but mostly liberating.

Close and serene …

but full of movement.

* I would have loved to show you the unfinished new paintings now.
But, besides of my unability to deal with my unfinished work being viewed, I rather save that for one of the next regular irregular newsletters…

So close I am to my process right now, so far it feels to the outside.
I have been doubting for a long time whether I should write now.
But I decided to give it a try.
And if you’re thinking ‘I don’t get it’
It’s probably not because of you
But because of me here – from planet Karin :)

Feel free to write me at any time
info@karinhoogesteger.nl

With heART warming greetings!
Karin